January 26, 2021

The Truth About Long Distance Relationships

Valentine’s Day is coming up fast and I thought I’d share about my experience of being in a long distance relationship. After being in an LDR (long distance relationship) for 2.5 years I’ve learned a lot about how they work, how they can succeed and how difficult they can be. Whenever I tell people I was in a long distance relationship, they thought I was crazy! They’d always say, “I could never do that.” To be completely honest, I was one of those people before I met Logan as well. The truth is, when you meet the right person, you will do whatever you can so that you can be with them. 

Our long distance relationship was not stretched across countries, but I was in Kelowna, BC and he was in Calgary, AB and we were both young, broke college students at the time. If you live in Canada, you know that a roundtrip flight anywhere around Canada is about $350-400. That’s a lot of money for broke college students. The odds were definitely against us given the circumstances, but with hard work and communication, we made it work. 

I’ll share a few tips for successful long distance relationships:

  • Commitment/Trust

It is very common to have the fear of your partner "fooling around" on the side, especially at the beginning when you're still getting to know each other. It's crucial to have that trust in your partner for the relationship to flourish and grow. If you can't fully trust them, you are going to worry yourself sick to the point of no return and the relationship will come to an abrupt end. Always make your partner feel like you are 100% committed to the relationship and communicate that in as many ways as possible.

  • Prioritization

This one is a little bit tricky. I think that it is extremely important to never make your partner the "centre of your world" because what if something happens and the relationship ends? You will have nothing going for you. So, when I talk about prioritization, I really mean make your partner a priority, but they don't necessarily need to be your number one priority over everything else in your life at all times. Everyone has things that are important to them and goals they are working towards, so you have to know how to respect that. But at the same time, it is crucial for a thriving relationship that effort is being put forward from both parties. Without enough effort in a long distance relationship, it will never work. You need to feel like your partner actually cares about the relationship and is willing to put time aside to talk with you on the phone, to Skype and you must do the same for them.

  • Share Your Time

I know first hand that when you get to see your partner after not being with them for a month, all you want to do is spend time with them. But, it's very important that you don't just spend time with your partner alone. Share! Spend time with your family and friends, allow your partner to be a part of that social setting with you. If you cut them off from the rest of your life, they don't get to know who you truly are.

  • Planning

This one's for couples who are getting to be more serious about each other. Plan for the future when the relationship will no longer be long distance anymore. It doesn't matter how far in advance you plan, as long as you have an actual plan of how you will be together one day. The only reason you are in a long distance relationship in the first place is because you really care for the other person and it's important to look forward to what your lives could look like together.

I never thought I’d be someone who could actually be in a long distance relationship, but honestly there are also a lot of advantages to them as well. I found that it allowed me to learn to be more independent on my own, which allowed me to grow up a lot. I also liked how I could maintain more friendships since I didn’t have a boyfriend around to take up all of my time. There are also many obvious disadvantages, one being that you might not get to be together on important and meaningful days such as Valentine’s Day. Every February 14th, we Skyped and had a virtual date night 375 miles apart rather than going out for dinner face-to-face like normal couples could. But, when you know you know, and I knew he was the one. After 2.5 years apart, we finally got the opportunity to live together in Calgary, AB when school went online due to Covid-19. Since then, we have bought our first home together, have our own fur-baby (Remi), and our relationship is stronger than ever. 

So if you’re debating getting into an LDR, you now know our story. It will be one of the most difficult things you’ll do, but it might be very worth it!